It has been SO long since I have had the time and really the ‘WANT’ to just sit and blog. My blog, started so long ago, has been a way for me to get out emotions, thoughts, feelings and opinions. It was a way to say the things that I thought, felt or wanted to say but didn’t or couldn’t, verbally, because of the human need to be polite, because it would hurt someone, because of a personal relationship or because of my employment.
For quite sometime, I have felt like I have been looking for something missing in my life. In the last year or so since I relocated to South Florida to start a new chapter in my life, I thought I was taking the steps to focus on what was missing. I have been looking for what it is in many different forms; through relationships, employment, friendships, residence locations and sex.
But what I have discovered is really missing in my life is the approval and permission within myself to just be honest and speak my truth. Be bluntly honest and speak my truth in relationships. Be bluntly honest and speak my truth in jobs. Be bluntly honest and speak my truth in friendships. Be bluntly honest and speak my truth in sexually situations.
And so now I am challenging myself to be bluntly honest in all areas; regards of what others will think or feel. Of course with good intentions in mind; not out to hurt anyone or cause issues/ drama.
And with that I am restarting my commitment and desire to blog again.. to allow my blog to help me SAY MY TRUTH.
My truth on this day, November 30th, is that it has been a year since I relocated to South Florida and in some ways, I have changed my life for the better/ different. But in reality, I have a long way to go. In some (or most areas of my life if I am being bluntly honest), I have gotten way off track.
I was so ready to leave my life in Idaho when we left. I had a great 10 years there and had accomphlished as much as I could but I wanted to experience this new chapter with my daughter as a college student and for myself as a single, empty-nested, non-foster mom.
In reality, I had no idea how much I would be effected by all of this. Moving from everything and everyone that I have known for 10 years has been hard and drastic. Finding work where I do not have connections to take care of this new, expensive cost of living has been humbling and rough. Establishing good friendships has been an exhausting and eye opening experience. And figuring out what and how I want to date is odd and and a bit difficult.
In short, to ‘Say My Truth,’ I am realzing that I am still figuring out this new life in South Florida, appreciating all the experiences, people and situations that come my way and learning from my mistakes
Please share your thoughts and opinions – would love to hear it.